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Bad Renaissance Festival http://www.austinrocky.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1015 |
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Author: | Strangelove [ Tue May 10, 2005 11:58 am ] |
Post subject: | Bad Renaissance Festival |
The Top 5 List http://www.topfive.com Copyright 1996, 2005 by Chris White The Top 17 Signs You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival 17> The castle and village are made entirely of Legos. 16> Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to cocker spaniel leg. 15> Festival activities include "Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest." 14> Eight- minute drum solo in the middle of "Greensleeves." 13> "Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh California roll!" 12> Ye Old Glassblower makes nothing but crack pipes. 11> The mead is served in a coconut shell with a Fizzy straw. 10> Everyone seems to have attended the Kevin Costner School of British Accents. 9> Mosh pit follows the wandering minstrels. 8> You get charged 5 bucks to take a leak behind Ye Olde Hedge. 7> Guillotine exhibit closed due to pending litigation. 6> Friar Tuck's pager keeps going off. 5> Featured event: Johnson-Jousting! 4> Disgusting Ogre is merely an unshaved Marlon Brando. [RIP] 3> "Tarry, wench, I prithee! Wouldst thou Macarena?" 2> Merlin the Magician's only trick is "Got your nose!" and Top5's Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival... 1> Jousting Crips and Bloods. David, gasping for breath |
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