Bad Renaissance Festival
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Author:  Strangelove [ Tue May 10, 2005 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  Bad Renaissance Festival

The Top 5 List
Copyright 1996, 2005 by Chris White

The Top 17 Signs You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival

17> The castle and village are made entirely of Legos.

16> Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to cocker spaniel leg.

15> Festival activities include "Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest."

14> Eight- minute drum solo in the middle of "Greensleeves."

13> "Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh California roll!"

12> Ye Old Glassblower makes nothing but crack pipes.

11> The mead is served in a coconut shell with a Fizzy straw.

10> Everyone seems to have attended the Kevin Costner School of British Accents.

9> Mosh pit follows the wandering minstrels.

8> You get charged 5 bucks to take a leak behind Ye Olde Hedge.

7> Guillotine exhibit closed due to pending litigation.

6> Friar Tuck's pager keeps going off.

5> Featured event: Johnson-Jousting!

4> Disgusting Ogre is merely an unshaved Marlon Brando. [RIP]

3> "Tarry, wench, I prithee! Wouldst thou Macarena?"

2> Merlin the Magician's only trick is "Got your nose!"

and Top5's Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival...

1> Jousting Crips and Bloods.

David, gasping for breath

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