|Bad Renaissance Festival
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|Author:||Strangelove [ Tue May 10, 2005 11:58 am ]|
|Post subject:||Bad Renaissance Festival|
The Top 5 List
Copyright 1996, 2005 by Chris White
The Top 17 Signs You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival
17> The castle and village are made entirely of Legos.
16> Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to cocker spaniel leg.
15> Festival activities include "Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest."
14> Eight- minute drum solo in the middle of "Greensleeves."
13> "Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh California roll!"
12> Ye Old Glassblower makes nothing but crack pipes.
11> The mead is served in a coconut shell with a Fizzy straw.
10> Everyone seems to have attended the Kevin Costner School of British Accents.
9> Mosh pit follows the wandering minstrels.
8> You get charged 5 bucks to take a leak behind Ye Olde Hedge.
7> Guillotine exhibit closed due to pending litigation.
6> Friar Tuck's pager keeps going off.
5> Featured event: Johnson-Jousting!
4> Disgusting Ogre is merely an unshaved Marlon Brando. [RIP]
3> "Tarry, wench, I prithee! Wouldst thou Macarena?"
2> Merlin the Magician's only trick is "Got your nose!"
and Top5's Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival...
1> Jousting Crips and Bloods.
David, gasping for breath
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