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Top 7 Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store http://www.austinrocky.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1624 |
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Author: | Strangelove [ Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:03 pm ] |
Post subject: | Top 7 Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store |
=============================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- WTF http://www.littlefivers.com/wtf =============================================== August 25, 2006 NOTE FROM CARL: Summer's nearly over, me buckos! Better hit them yarrrrdsales! The Top 7 Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store Shopping Spree 7> Carrots, ferrets, garrottes, Harriet, lariats and a chariot. No parrots, though. 6> That cat-o-nines comes in real handy during the braiding lesson at Charmaine's Beauty School. 5> A couple of eyepatches and some of those parrot feathers would make a bitchin' sexy string bikini top. 4> The ThrottleHook-2000 easily perforates those annoying safety seals on medicine bottles. So simple, even the kids can use it! 3> Nothin' says "Stay away, Jehovah's Witnesses!" like a door-mounted pegleg crucifix. 2> The satin sash, the big tri-corn hat with the feathers, the high-top leather boots all would go for BIG bucks at that downtown Pimp 'n' Ho resale shop! and the Number 1 Treasure Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store Shopping Spree ... 1> One old Furby plus old parrot: It's an all-in-one feather duster/toilet brush... that talks! [ Copyright 2006 by Chris White ] [ http://www.topfive.com ] ============================================== Selected from 25 submissions from 8 contributors. This week's list authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 1, 3, 4 (Hat trick!) (4th #1) Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 2, 5 Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 6 Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- 7 J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA -- Banner tag Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Grand Overseer of Obtuse Funniness (GOOF) ------------------------------------------------------------------ Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store Shopping Spree RUNNERS UP list -- Old Navy ------------------------------------------------------------------ Celebrity Love Dolls: Pamela Anderson with Treasure Chest, Jennifer Lopez with Extra-Large Booty. (Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA) Homemade newsprint-quality paper, made from recycled pirate hats. (Brad Hamer, Austin, TX) Parrots: iPods for poor people. (Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX) Rid your toddlers of the stigma of wearing a jock strap with M'Eye First Nutcup. (Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA) The 47 *other* plotlines they didn't put in "Pirates of the Caribbean 2." (Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA) That peg leg: a strap-on for overachieving sadists. (Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX) Davy Jones' Locket (Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA) =============================================== [ TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS ] [ "Top 10" lists on a variety of subjects ] [ http://www.littlefivers.com ] =============================================== [ Copyright 2006 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] =============================================== [ To complain to the moderator: top5wtf@topfive.com ] [ Have friends who might like to subscribe to this list? ] [ Send them to: http://www.littlefivers.com/subscribe.html ] =============================================== TopFive.com 10965 Bluffside Dr., #151 Studio City, CA 91604 USA |
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