Top 7 Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store
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Author:  Strangelove [ Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Top 7 Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store


August 25, 2006


Summer's nearly over, me buckos!
Better hit them yarrrrdsales!

The Top 7 Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store Shopping Spree

7> Carrots, ferrets, garrottes, Harriet, lariats and a chariot. No parrots, though.

6> That cat-o-nines comes in real handy during the braiding lesson at Charmaine's Beauty School.

5> A couple of eyepatches and some of those parrot feathers would make a bitchin' sexy string bikini top.

4> The ThrottleHook-2000 easily perforates those annoying safety seals on medicine bottles. So simple, even the kids can use it!

3> Nothin' says "Stay away, Jehovah's Witnesses!" like a door-mounted pegleg crucifix.

2> The satin sash, the big tri-corn hat with the feathers, the high-top leather boots all would go for BIG bucks at that downtown Pimp 'n' Ho resale shop!

and the Number 1 Treasure Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store Shopping Spree ...

1> One old Furby plus old parrot: It's an all-in-one feather duster/toilet brush... that talks!

[ Copyright 2006 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]

Selected from 25 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 1, 3, 4 (Hat trick!) (4th #1)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 2, 5
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 6
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- 7
J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA -- Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Grand Overseer of Obtuse

Funniness (GOOF)

Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store Shopping Spree
RUNNERS UP list -- Old Navy

Celebrity Love Dolls: Pamela Anderson with Treasure Chest, Jennifer Lopez with Extra-Large Booty.
(Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA)

Homemade newsprint-quality paper, made from recycled pirate hats.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)

Parrots: iPods for poor people.
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)

Rid your toddlers of the stigma of wearing a jock strap with M'Eye First Nutcup.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)

The 47 *other* plotlines they didn't put in "Pirates of the Caribbean 2."
(Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA)

That peg leg: a strap-on for overachieving sadists.
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)

Davy Jones' Locket
(Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA)

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