Sweet Transvestite |
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Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2003 6:46 pm Posts: 788 Location: behind the McDonald's that's close to the mall that's near the freeway
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=============================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- WTF http://www.littlefivers.com/wtf ===============================================
August 25, 2006
NOTE FROM CARL:
Summer's nearly over, me buckos! Better hit them yarrrrdsales!
The Top 7 Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store Shopping Spree
7> Carrots, ferrets, garrottes, Harriet, lariats and a chariot. No parrots, though.
6> That cat-o-nines comes in real handy during the braiding lesson at Charmaine's Beauty School.
5> A couple of eyepatches and some of those parrot feathers would make a bitchin' sexy string bikini top.
4> The ThrottleHook-2000 easily perforates those annoying safety seals on medicine bottles. So simple, even the kids can use it!
3> Nothin' says "Stay away, Jehovah's Witnesses!" like a door-mounted pegleg crucifix.
2> The satin sash, the big tri-corn hat with the feathers, the high-top leather boots all would go for BIG bucks at that downtown Pimp 'n' Ho resale shop!
and the Number 1 Treasure Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store Shopping Spree ...
1> One old Furby plus old parrot: It's an all-in-one feather duster/toilet brush... that talks!
[ Copyright 2006 by Chris White ] [ http://www.topfive.com ]
============================================== Selected from 25 submissions from 8 contributors. This week's list authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 1, 3, 4 (Hat trick!) (4th #1) Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 2, 5 Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 6 Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- 7 J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA -- Banner tag Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Grand Overseer of Obtuse
Funniness (GOOF)
------------------------------------------------------------------ Treasures Recovered From a Second-Hand Pirate Store Shopping Spree RUNNERS UP list -- Old Navy ------------------------------------------------------------------
Celebrity Love Dolls: Pamela Anderson with Treasure Chest, Jennifer Lopez with Extra-Large Booty. (Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA)
Homemade newsprint-quality paper, made from recycled pirate hats. (Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
Parrots: iPods for poor people. (Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
Rid your toddlers of the stigma of wearing a jock strap with M'Eye First Nutcup. (Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
The 47 *other* plotlines they didn't put in "Pirates of the Caribbean 2." (Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA)
That peg leg: a strap-on for overachieving sadists. (Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
Davy Jones' Locket (Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA)
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_________________ I just ate a chicken. I'm horny.
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