You need one of someone throwing up..
Here's Ruth's "collector's review" of that DVD:
Ruth Fink-Winter wrote:
The Funky Fetish Horror Show (calling it a "parody" is generous) was
mentioned previously on the newsgroup.
I finally went out and bought a copy.
I have to admit, the film itself has more references to Rocky Horror
than the original Rocky Porno did.
Box: decorated with fetish chick, doesn't look Rocky at all. No
bleeding letters on the cover.
Film intro: Nasty-looking red lips (wearing matte, probably
glow-in-black-light lipstick) mouth some sexual invitations.
Plot (again, being *very* generous): Nice young couple's car breaks
down and they go to a castle in the rain. Frank, a time-traveling
transvestite, causes them to change into fetish outfits/makeup and have
lots of sex with very glittery fetishwear-wearing people on industrial
looking sets, then tells them they are now his "ambassadors to earth."
They wake up in the car; was it all a dream? No, Frank has left a
crystal from the castle behind. Brad and Janet smile at each other;
Pluses versus the original Porno:
* They actually have a castle. With an "Enter at your own risk!!"
sign, yet. Still no elevator.
* The main characters are actually named Brad, Janet and Frank.
* Frank actually is a man in a corset, stockings and heels. Not a
particularly attractive man...but at least he's male.
* A few dialogue lines in the final scene: "Don't dream it, feel it"
and (if I heard correctly), "Dammit, Janet, I f**k you."
* No bizarre tan lines. Just as much weird glitter makeup, but
technology has come a long way.
*No funny theme song.
* Sort-of-bleeding letters featured in titles but not on box.
* Lack of camp value: No truly outrageous dialogue, missing
fingernails, blowing out candles, Mistress Tantala, or "Hyper Sex."
(Some people might consider these pluses.)
* Boring black light sex sequence that seemed to last forever.
If you're a hardcore collector, you might pick this up. Or not. The
Rocky Porno is a better collectible, in my opinion, due to the box and
the camp value. (Of course, you won't find it with a box unless you
buy it used.)
If you like lots of fetish accoutrements, people sucking on boots and
toes, and lots and lots of glitter makeup (some shows up in one actor's
privates; glitter has gotten less lethal over the years), there's
something here for you.
("I'm coming to bed soon, honey. I'm posting a review of this porn to
the newsgroup as a public service.")