The dam seems to be breaking...
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Author:  Riff Raff [ Tue Apr 07, 2009 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:  The dam seems to be breaking...

Iowa Supreme Court legalizes gay marriage (April 3rd)
Vermont legalizes gay marriage with veto override (April 7th)

I mean... Iowa? Really? And Vermont became the first state to legalize gay marriage through the legislature, rather than the courts (they've had civil unions since back in 2000, when Howard Dean was governor). The California Supreme Court is also supposed to be issuing a ruling on the constitutionality of the Prop 8 ban by June 3rd at the latest, and the ruling could come at any time before then. But regardless of which way that goes, it seems like it won't be long now before the matter is taken up at the federal level.

Author:  Frank-n-Fuzzy [ Mon Apr 13, 2009 11:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The dam seems to be breaking...

Regarding Iowa:

What's new in town? I gotta get an angle to sell boys bands.

Well, I hear gays are getting married now.

That'll do it.

Well, you got trouble, my friends.
Trouble, I say, trouble right here in River City
Well, sure, I'm a ladies man, certainly mighty proud to say.
I'm always mighty proud to say it.

I consider the hours I spend with a girl on my arm are golden.
Helps you cultivate horse sense, and a cool head and a keen eye.
Ever try to hold your girl's purse while she goes to the can and try not to feel guilty?

But, just as I say, it takes judgement, brains and maturity to get yourself a nice girl.
I say that any boob can cross the line and become a faggot.
And I call that sloth. The first big step on the road too the depths of deg-ra-Day
First, fellatio in the bathroom. Then pork swords in the bottom!
And the next thing you know your son is drinking Zima in a bright pink suit,
And listening to some big out of town homo here to tell about Broadway Musicals.
No, not the normal ones, no, but the ones where everyone dresses like cats!
Like to see some men in leotards feeling eachother up? Make your blood boil? Well, I should say!
Now friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
You got two, four, six, eight, ten minus three is seven
Sins that mark the difference between a gentleman and an ass, with a capital "A" and that rhymes with GAY and that stands for FAGS!

That's generally the exchange I used to imagine regarding Iowa and gay marriages. It's kind of hard to imagine anything else at this point.

Author:  Riff Raff [ Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The dam seems to be breaking...

BREAKING: gay marriage destroys Iowa

Des Moines (AP)--Iowa society plunged into chaos as county recorders began issuing marriage licenses to same-couples on Monday morning.

Residents across the state called 911 to report the breakdown of traditional society. In Ames, gay zombies dressed in tight muscle shirts prompted Iowa State University officials to cancel classes. While only a handful of zombie attacks were reported, an Iowa State spokeswoman stated that campus was closed as a "precautionary measure."

Sophomore mechanical engineering major Justin Lambert reported that one male zombie looked at him funny after he came out of the campus rec center. "This kind of shit is supposed to happen in Iowa City, but not here," Lambert said. "I'm going back to my room now to play video games."

Lambert's girlfriend, freshman Stacey Hoffmeier, addead that one female zombie "said something about playing rugby and then jumped into a waiting Subaru. She looked so much like us, it was creepy."

Governor Chet Culver called an emergency press conference in Des Moines to discuss the crisis, but quickly ran offstage after a conga line entered the room singing "All I Owe Ioway" from State Fair. "Isn't it just fabulous?" one singer asked Des Moines Register reporter Reid Forgrave.

In Davenport, homemaker Laura Lewis was despondent. "I just saw two men holding hands in front of the courthouse," she said. "My marriage of 30 years will never be same. I don't think I can ever have sex with my husband again."

Meanwhile, DVD retailers across the state reported finding copies of Field of Dreams lying on floors early in the morning, with the words "Build chapels and they will come" scrawled on the front. Steve Stevenson, the owner of an independent video store in Dubuque, expressed concern that gays would use eminent domain to turn his property into a "house of sin," as he rang up a customer's purchase of "The Complete 7th Season of Will and Grace."

"When will it ever end?" he asked. "When will it ever end?"

Author:  Bschepp [ Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The dam seems to be breaking...


Author:  Riff Raff [ Wed May 06, 2009 1:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The dam seems to be breaking...

New Englanders at least are rushing forward on it:

Maine legalizes same-sex marriage

I assume it's because none of them want to be seen as more backward than Iowa. 8)
Apparently New Hampshire is next. Now any bets on how long it'll be before you see a headline like that for Alabama? :lmao:

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