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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 1:41 pm 
Closet Thespian
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This was in the "Washington Post"... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever." This is pretty damn good. Drunk and horny, he still came up with this!

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the jail.

Lawrence went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice the Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

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He's bringing the sloe clap back.

Who am I now \m/ :booze: \m/


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 2:33 pm 
Transylvanian
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:lmao: I think I would've had to let him go for that one!

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 2:41 pm 
:iagree:


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 8:32 pm 
Virgin
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hee hee :lol:

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If I can endure for this moment,
whatever is happening to me.
No matter how heavy my heart,
or how dark the moment may be.
If I can but keep on believing,
what I know in my heart to be true.
Then darkness will fade into morning,
and with this dawn a new day, too.
-Shawn


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 8:58 pm 
Drama Queen
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i like it, though i have heard worse.
:bananarock: -ian


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 8:59 pm 
Drama Queen
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acutally i think i have said worse. :shock:
-ian


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 11:54 pm 
Techie
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i think to myself, hmmm, could that have been me?

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 12:38 am 
Sweet Transvestite
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:drool:

mmm... pumpkin...

David, you don't wanna know

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:46 am 
Techie
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you wanna eat the pumpkin before or after he's done with it? :haha:

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How's your mama, we went out.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 3:55 am 
Transylvanian
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Location: ...where the Sun doesn't shine...
ROFL

It makes you wonder about all those prom dates.

Ashes to ashes...

~Ashe

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 11:45 am 
Drag Diva
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Just because I'm ill and I enjoy bubblebustin'...

http://www.snopes.com/risque/caught/pumpkin.htm

Nevertheless, it's still a pretty good joke.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 12:22 pm 
I forgot Roberto Benigni was in Night on Earth. good flick!


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:13 pm 
And THAT is why everyone loves Stev-O OH OH!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2003 3:07 am 
Transylvanian
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dot! wrote:
I forgot Roberto Benigni was in Night on Earth. good flick!


In reference to your signature, I absolutely loved that film "Donnie Darko." I actually own it on video. I found it at Target of all places for $6.99. Go me!

Ashes to ashes...

~Ashe

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but it only lasts a moment...
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2003 4:48 am 
Techie
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I still don't get Donnie Darko. What the hell was it all about?

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2003 6:51 am 
Transylvanian
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Location: ...where the Sun doesn't shine...
dingbat wrote:
I still don't get Donnie Darko. What the hell was it all about?


I'm not exactly certain myself, but then, figure that art is all in how the individual sees it. In my opinion, it was about a second chance. Think how if your life really sucked, what would you do differently.

Donnie didn't seem like the most popular kid in his family much less his school, but he even got the girl. Remember how he said something about the school being closed for the day was a good thing and how she asked why? His reply was something to the effect that they wouldn't have had that opportunity to meet had that event not taken place.

I still disagree about it being a psychological thriller of some sort, but it was a bit of a thinker kind of film. My favourite was the twist towards the end. That should tell you everything, such as on "The Sixth Sense."

Ashes to ashes...

~Ashe

PS1 To my dismay, the only fault of this movie was it's soundtrack. While entrancing in it's scope, it failed to include all the great 80s musique.

PS2 How can you not include "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division especially considering how it was played during a pivotal part?!

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but it only lasts a moment...
before it's gone."


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