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PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 5:08 am 
Transylvanian
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This is just plain sad. I'm replying to my own post which should be funny yet feels somewhat depressing.

I'm left here in a melancholy mood. Thinking of things I should be writing in my LiveJournal. Fuck, I should be happy, but for the same reason why I should be, I'm not. I haven't been to Rocky in what seems like ages. I go into the theatre not expecting anyone to take notice. But, I notice. I notice everything that I am able to process at once. It can be difficult to take it all in at times. I didn't go to Rocky to make friends anymore than I have at Elysium. When I walk in and a familiar recognizes me, I see a face with an expression of a welcome. Mixed feelings are all at once because I don't always know how best to react.

Its strange not understanding how one's presence might profoundly effect another. Saying my goodbyes tonight was especially agonizing because I'm not one to easily let go. There are many I'd adore to hang out with more, and even few that I'd be honoured in considering to date. Not for a piece of ass or to get something out from someone, but to enjoy another's company.

Please place your perversions aside for a moment and ponder what I voice. I realize most of what is said here is of the lighthearted nature with an occasional dramatic tantrum; however, I speak in heart here.

I am thankful for all those I've had the pleasure of meeting. I will look forward to a hopeful transfering of operations to the Alamo Village. I would enjoy being able to participate in all the fun as an official cast member myself and to look toward a future that I will not be aware of until the day it presents itself.

It's great to finally be online again, so you'll be hearing more of me often. I have my own apartment without a roommate which is a first for me. I can now do whatever I want whenever I want and with whomever I want. We'll see how this next year goes. I have an opportunity to move with friends to Portland, OR within a year or two. Normally, I'd attempt to figure out reasons to go, but in this case, I'm wondering if there might be a reason to stay. I suppose I'd be afraid I'd miss something about Austin. It was the easiest decision I've ever had to make to move here in the first place. Whether Rocky is a ticket to stay or a combination of other things as well, I will consider keeping around to see how or what might play out.

My apologies for boring you with my deep thoughts. I just never realized how much I've missed everyone until seeing some of you again tonight. Perhaps, something good will happen in my favour. Besides, I should wait around to at least be able to take the twinsies to Elysium, and other friends have notioned the idea of a slumber party.

I'm feeling a little better now that I have all this out in the open and off my chest. Thank you to all of you for your dedication in Rocky and likewise to keep Austin a special place for me and others.

And, a VERY special thank you to Morgan for being a total sweetheart to me. She is as much of a dear as I am a doll. Not having someone as cute as me on cast would be a shame. Take care.

Ashes to ashes...

~Ashe Darquestar_falling

PS My last poll was intended as a joke. For those curious to know, my personal answer is currently "me, "myself, and "I."

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but it only lasts a moment...
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:21 pm 
Closet Thespian
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Quote:
Besides, I should wait around to at least be able to take the twinsies to Elysium

Yay!!!! Elysium!!!
That Party Monster Quote made my day!!
Have you seen the documentery with the real club kids???
I got to see it at the Alamo Downtown, and The James St. James kissed my cheek!!!
Sorry, groupie moment.
Welcome back Sam!!! :smooch:
---Morgan---

_________________
"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice."

---Albert Einstein---

I come and go -- the demon tags along,
hanging around me like the air I breathe;
each time I swallow he fills my burning lungs
with sinful cravings never satisfied.

---Charles Beaudelaire---
--- Destruction---


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:31 pm 
Sweet Transvestite
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btw way Ash where were you on wensday......you missed a fun day there.....of course it was sad when i sat with a group of people there and we all started talking about Anime and Final Fantasy


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:15 am 
Transylvanian
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blackfeatherswan wrote:
Yay!!!! Elysium!!!


Yes, you can be my date if the place still exists.

Quote:
That Party Monster Quote made my day!!
Have you seen the documentery with the real club kids???
I got to see it at the Alamo Downtown, and The James St. James kissed my cheek!!!
Sorry, groupie moment.


I would believe that one of if not my favourite quote from that movie would have to be when James says to Michael, "You're too selfish to kill yourself."

No, I haven't seen the documentary, but I'd like to. The "Chronicle" gave the actual movie a lackluster review. A friend of mine was the one who informed me that I had to see it. I purchased it at Hollywood Video as one of my selections for the 4/$20 special. I can't believe you got to meet the REAL James St. James. I'm jealous. I'd like a signed copy of "Disco Bloodbath." The movie's soundtrack is on my list of CDs I must buy.

Quote:
Welcome back Sam!!! :smooch:
---Morgan---


:smooch: Right back at you.

Ashes to ashes...

~Ashe

_________________
"in the twilight, memories shimmer in a breath...of hesitation,
but it only lasts a moment...
before it's gone."


- The Crüxshadows


Last edited by Colour_of_Ash on Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:33 am 
Transylvanian
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cool3865 wrote:
btw way Ash where were you on wensday......


I was at home laid out on my carpet enjoying the silence. Depeche Mode style. I always have the best intentions of going out, but at times, I am bitten by the lethargic bug.

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you missed a fun day there.....


I figured I did. Wednesdays are one of my favourite next to Saturdays of course because they play all the great underground eighties and olde school Goth musique.

I always have fun even if I had to force myself to go out. Like I always say, Elysium is my second home and Saturdays are where the family is at. On Wednesday, it'd a little different. I have more anonymity (sp?) and more room on the dance floor due to a small crowd. Dancers usually introduce themselves since we are the only ones doing the dancing. Tehe. You have me all started now. I really NEED to make it out to another Wednesday soon. Besides, DJ Pumpkin Spice is hot!

How was Manifesto on Thursday? Did you attend?

Quote:
of course it was sad when i sat with a group of people there and we all started talking about Anime and Final Fantasy


I'm not much of a fan of Anime aside from "Vampire Hunter D." A friend of mine had wanted me to get into it. We had planned to set aside a night because he had several videos. He was an artist who was working on his own comic book style last I spoke to him.

Final Fantasy had outstanding graphics, but I never understood all the hooplah. That all I have to say about that.

Ashes to ashes...

~Ashe

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"in the twilight, memories shimmer in a breath...of hesitation,
but it only lasts a moment...
before it's gone."


- The Crüxshadows


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 9:41 am 
Sweet Transvestite
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ah so thats who that girl dj's name is........yea she is hot......on thursday i didnt go, but i did go on friday to see Last Murder Box and you were right, they are really good


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 3:27 pm 
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Colour_of_Ash wrote:
at least be able to take the twinsies to Elysium

Yay! I've missed you too Sam! Check out the poll thingie for my other post. Morgan's the dear, I'm the dame. :lol:
Kisses.

ps John, my teacher is going to burn some synth pop for me and morgan. I told him that I have another friend who enjoys it, and he'll burn one for you too.

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In the Coast Guard, gone, and forgotten.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 3:33 pm 
Sweet Transvestite
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cool let me know when he does that.......also if he has the track listing that would be great


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 3:34 pm 
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otay, I'll see what I can do, I go to his class next period. He and his fiance might go to the show on Sat. so come to that show, so he can bring it.

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In the Coast Guard, gone, and forgotten.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 3:35 pm 
Sweet Transvestite
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ok cool, i'll make an apparence on sat. sometime later on


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